A faith transition tests the many relationships we have in our lives. Unfortunately, several of them prove to be less than true friends. After discussing love last week, Scott covers Aristotle’s three types of friendship to better understand why many of our relationships suffer after a faith transition.
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One of these incidents started my wife down the path out of the church. We moved into a new house and were immediately and enthusiastically welcomed by one particular sister. Her kid was the same age as ours. I got called into YM with her husband. She was RS pres and assigned herself to visit teach my wife. Everything was looking like we had quickly made friends. My wife had been worried about making friends in the new neighborhood because they don’t come easily for her. For a few months we got together regularly. Then around the 6 month mark this sister started declining invitations. By 12 months we stopped trying to schedule things because every invite got declined. Somewhere in this time frame the visiting teaching assignments got changed.
A couple months later we were telling our story to someone else in the ward and they said, “Oh yeah, that’s just Susan,” (not her real name) “she comes on strong with every newcomer but doesn’t have time to maintain the relationship once newer people move in.”
This peek behind the curtain of church assigned friendships led my wife to question the Visiting Teaching program in general and greatly increased her distrust of ward friends.
Years passed and we got to the point where she still believed but did not attend and I did not believe but still attended. Finally we talked to each other and now we are both happily out.
Thank you for sharing that. This concept can be a hard pill to swallow for people. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t good people. I realized this early in my marriage but struggled with the fake feeling of friendships for about a decade.